Dating for sex addicts
According to Hatch, these intimacy disorders develop in addicts as a result of “early experiences in their [families] of origin that failed to produce a secure attachment to their caregivers. D., sex addiction expert and therapist, “is the ability to be real with another person.” This might seem like a simple thing, but any addict, not just those who experience sexual compulsion, is a person who struggles with being real, (i.e., honest, available and truly vulnerable) with another person.Addiction is a symbolic enactment of deeply entrenched unconscious dysfunctional relationships with self and others.While the definition of sex addiction is the same as that of other addictions, sexual compulsion is set apart from other addictions in that sex involves our innermost unconscious wishes, needs, fantasies, fears and conflicts. While there currently is no diagnosis of sex addiction in the DSM-IV, clinicians in the sex addiction field have developed general criteria for diagnosing sex addiction.And they learn that a relationship is something to value but not something they to survive or to feel good about themselves.A recovering addict who has accomplished these things and desires a healthy relationship may consider some factors for further readiness.Sexual addiction can be conceptualized as an intimacy disorder manifested as a compulsive cycle of preoccupation, ritualization, sexual behavior, and despair.Central to the disorder is the inability of the individual to adequately bond and attach in intimate relationships.
Distress, shame and guilt about the behaviors erode the addict’s already weak self-esteem.
To do that, we’ll need to spend a bit of time understanding the early wounds that created our intimacy disordered behavior (addictions).
So sex addiction recovery is about far more than one-day-at-a-time abstinence; it’s real work we do on who we are, how we were formed and how we communicate with others.
The syndrome is rooted in early attachment failure with primary caregivers.
It is a maladaptive way to compensate for this early attachment failure.