Dating recovering alcoholic advice young teen girls dating older men
Part of me thinks “he can do what he wants to his body,” but most of me feels concerned about having a future with him and what future issues can arise from so much drinking.I must add that one year before I met him, he received a DUI and was court ordered to AA. I’ve been to an Al-Anon meeting but it’s not enough.Often, finance, children and other circumstances prevent any simple solutions.I am concerned that he is a very, very heavy drinker.I have never experienced negative behavior problems from his drinking — in fact, he appears to relax and be even giddy when he drinks — however, I have seen that he has a definite dependency on alcohol (his hands will physically shake when he stops drinking, and, if we run out of alcohol, he has to go to the store that night to pick up more, regardless of the hour).It’s hard to tell him that I feel his drinking is a problem while there is no behavior I can point to as an issue since we have been together.
have stayed-been through the rehab therapy and family meetings n in addition I am a nurse- so I Didn’t Do What others advised me to do- I used tough love n showed myself to be tougher- but in the end internally I am left hurting more than ever- everytime his siblings help him out financially n also pay for his treatments n when he is out n sober- it is me n our 2 (now) teenage children who have 2 pretend like everything has been wiped clean n all is right with the world.
It’s something like finding yourself holding a hot panhandle and gripping all the more tightly the more it burns. I also encourage you to respond to other postings with a few words of appreciation, support and ideas. There are many more readers of this dialogue than there are responders – you have an interested group here and we want to know what happens. Try viewing your dilemma as four-pronged: Choice 1 would be that you decide to leave your wife and that you do so in the most careful, strategic manner, doing the most that you can to ensure this unfolds as becoming the right choice.
Choice 2 would be that you leave in a way that magnifies the potential for a negative outcome, say by being mean, impulsive or passive, neglecting the care of your self, your social network, financial interests and so on.
You can’t control if he drinks or uses drugs but you can control your reactions.
Please leave your story or questions about living with an addicted husband below.