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Rarely have they been depicted with traditionally masculine traits.With a few exceptions, Asian men on screen have been small, sneaky and threatening — or spineless, emasculated wimps, or incompetents who may well be technically proficient in martial arts, but impotent when faced with white man’s superior strength or firepower. Even today, Asian American men complain that action heroes such as Chow Yun Fat and Jackie Chan rarely get the girl.I don’t doubt he loved me in the beginning — but once his family knew, I suspect they made it clear that there was no future in what we had.Even my own husband was first told by his parents that he could be friends with a foreign girl, but not date her.In some of the most hardcore Asian families, children have to “prove” themselves to their parents in certain respects, whereas in Western families, the love, praise, and affection may, more often, be unconditional.I’m Korean, which traditionally shares a lot of culture with China, and my father has been very aloof, distant, and always critical.
There was one Chinese boyfriend who told me, flat out, that his parents would never accept me.It was the summer of 2015 that I read a post of Facebook on a brethren group’s page of a lady in her 30’s who was being told that she should accept the fact that it was not the Lord’s will for her to be married.She asked the group if what she was being told by her church family was true.Not because he’s a Chinese man, or because our relationship is “unique” or different. The following holds true from -some- Asian families, not all, and maybe not even the majority.Once again, the majority of Asian families MAY NOT BE LIKE THIS! One or both parents can be very light on encouragement and praise, and very heavy on criticism and pressure.