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Just sitting down will cost you B50 per hour, on top of the required order of food and drink.

G-Spot Entertainment’s monthly TGIF Party keeps things sexy but classy in the 24th-floor Penthouse Suite of Double Tree by Hilton.

Not only is Banana State Hotel one of the maddest short-time motels in Bangkok; it’s also one of the cleanest.

Of all the rooms, our favorite’s the Boxing Room (B700 for three hours), where you get to sleep in the middle of a boxing ring complete with scaffolding spotlights and punching bags.

It’s a members’ club, but one-time entry is B900 (wear a black T-shirt if you don’t want to wear one of the house’s! Word of caution: some regulars like to show off their junk.

If cute waitresses in frilly maid costumes serving omu rice with curry sauce (B250) gets you going, visit Maidreamin’ Cafe at Gateway Ekamai.

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The next one takes place on Feb 27, in celebration of Chinese New Year. It’s OK to drink ya-dong—the potent, herb-infused homebrew whiskey favored by motorcycle taxi drivers—now that Maft Sai and the Paradise Bangkok boys do it.

Japanese salarymen have Soi 24/1; roly-poly sex tourists have Soi Nana; and just about everyone has Soi Cowboy. Make your pick at Rajah Hotel, where there’s a variety of choices, from Russians to Japanese.

Just look for the promoter in the lobby, and you’re all set. Girls can now get their sexy undies at Victoria’s Secret (2/F), which recently opened a store at Central World. But if you’re looking for a sexy bra, head over to La Senza (1/F).

Though sex toys have been banished from most of the city’s sidewalks, we’re happy to report that Silom Road is holding out as your one-stop resource for 11-inch pink plastic phalluses and crotchless panties.

Alternatively, head there on a Sunday to see topless hunks draped in red satin get their turn on the swings during the bar’s infamous Importance of Being Ernest gay nights.

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