Rules of dating a gambler

But we were all wrong for having tried to push the other to be something they weren’t. You can’t even always tell if someone else’s play is consensual.

So, try things, experiment, and figure out how you feel and what you want. Just like you don’t want someone making moral judgements about your play, don’t make moral judgements about someone else’s.

You’re not overly jealous, or possessive, or a slave to the patriarchy or any of that. And while a poly and mono person can love each other, they probably shouldn’t date.

I tried for *years* to be poly, to fit into poly relationships, because I loved people, and I was told that I would get used to it. Those people weren’t wrong for wanting to live their life, and I wasn’t wrong for feeling hurt by it.

I’d met a wonderful man on the Shadow Lane personal ads, impulsively went to a hotel in Virginia and got spanked! During that time, I’ve had 9 kinky relationships, hundreds of play partners, multiple businesses, a couple parties, some internet fame, some internet shame, a yearlong catfish relationship, abuse, love, fidelity, infidelity, 3 months tops of being actually single, and a very loud voice. I’ve literally made my dreams come true, and I’ve sat on my floor crying in despair on multiple occasions.

Four or so months later I started this blog, got naked on the internet, and went from there.

But in the honor of 10 years, and me feeling like a sage old lady at the ripe old age of 28, I’d like to share with you 10 things that I’d like to tell 18 year old me if I had the chance.

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I meet new people and am able to bring my whole self to the table, and I think it’s made me a better person overall.

But until that happens, I will go hard for my side.

Just remember, half the things you think you know are probably wrong.

The fire will burn down, and people will move on when there’s no one there to fan the flames. So, when you’re contemplating dating a vanilla, or contemplating dating a kinky non fetishist, remember: you don’t have the same sexual orientation.

And you might have to suffer some in the short term, but people will eventually see the truth on their own. But you won’t have had to get yourself dirty to get there. You can love each other, you can try to make the other happy, you can do your best.

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